Saturday, July 23, 2011
GNAA Plans to Release Amy Winehouse Sex Tape
gasjews - Austin, Texas
Austin, Texas - Minutes after the announcement that Amy Winehouse had been found dead in her London condo, GNAA researchers announce they are ready to release the exclusive and never-before-seen videotape of Winehouse, Justin Bieber and Pete Dougherty in a drug-fueled sex rampage that lasted into the early hours on the morning of her death.
Computer security consultant Craig Smith, who was there busily feeding Amy heroin and methamphetamines to power up the sweat and bodily fluids soaked evening, captured the footage on his iPhone in-between houseboy runs for more needles, lubricant, condoms, cigarettes, booze and pornography.
"This exclusive footage will shock the world," said GNAA spokesnigger Louis Kaizen over cherry-aged brandy in his comfortable London flat. "If you haven't seen Amy keep two men busy in the way only she could, this will be an eye-opener, let me tell you that at least."
Smith carelessly secured his iPhone with the password "nioreh," which GNAA security team easily bypassed. Not only was the security weak, opined Kaizen, but "the iPhone is fundamentally insecure owing to the multiple, pervasive and catastrophic weaknesses inherent to its rather careless design. We could have owned it if the password were a 14-word phrase in Cantonese."
GNAA plans to release the videotape sometime next month unless distracted by large sums of money deposited via the group's donation page.
is was a chanteuse (that means "drunken singer") who appropriated liberally from classic rhythm and blues to make a UK-pop influenced, drug-influenced wail which many find sonically appealing. She is was world-famous for her songwriting and addiction to heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, crack cocaine, ketamine, and alcohol, which eventually killed her at age 27.
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