GNAA pledges aid to Katrina victims
GNAA pledges aid to Katrina victims
Associated Press, September 11 2005
In an early-morning press conference, reclusive GNAA president Gary Niger declared that the Gay Nigger Association of America will contribute to hurricane Katrina disaster relief efforts. He issued a statement describing the efforts being undertaken to rush relief to New Orleans' former residents, many of whom are black, gay, or both. "My heart tears at the sight of so many flooded niggers", Niger said.
The GNAA is contributing a currently-unknown quantity of sperm, intended to prevent starvation and malnutrition. The sperm is to be delivered this Monday to shelters across the nation. "We are having a non-stop wankathon. I believe we can do this, I believe in my niggas. We will not fail to feed NOLA's hungry refugees." Many have reporters present at the conference questioned the nutritional value of the semen being collected, eliciting angry stares and lip-licking from their host. Niger did not directly answer the questions, saying "Who the hell are you? I don't see you vigorously beating off to save the niggers!"
The next item on the list was free wireless internet spanning the Southern Louisiana region, allowing access to GNAA's Lastmeasure online service. Lastmeasure is provided free of charge. It is widely touted as "better than FEMA" in the charitable relief field. Lastmeasure surpasses FEMA's disaster aid service by being accessible to any graphical browser on any operating system. Lastmeasure will be the only website available, as all other http requests will be redirected. This measure is intended to minimize use of GNAA.net wireless for other than disaster-relief LM. The conference ended with an emotional outburst from GNAA president Niger, crying out, "so many dead, rotting black shits".
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| ______________________________________._a,____ | Press contact:
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