GNAA BEGINS SALE OF DECAPITATION INSURANCE
GNAA BEGINS SALE OF DECAPITATION INSURANCE
Zeikfried - Reuters, Saudi Arabia
The brutal slayings of Paul Johnson, the young Jew Nick Berg, and local Starcraft champion Kim Sun-il, only serve to exemplify that while so-called moderates preach Islam as a religion of peace, normal god-fearing citizens are not blind to the brutal truth, Islam wants to lop off your shit liberally.
"But these poor bastards were working abroad!" you cry, your several chins flailing wildly as a mixture of spittle and congealed fat sprays from your blackened lips like a gaijin Tubgirl. But you couldn't be more wrong, Gay Nigger studies indicate the muslims are, in fact, stealing your land, woman, and anal virginity before your very eyes. The situation is indeed dire, as indicated by a recent #GNAA straw poll showing that your average Joe Negro is a mere 58 metres away from a filthy sand nigger, ready willing and able to decapitate you and encode your fate into a shitty .wmv
How may we counter this? How can we protect our terrified brothers, sisters, and lovers from this reprehensible neck decimating towelhead menace? The answer is simple you wretched cretins, as of the 19th of June, award winning self-help group the Gay Nigger Association of America begins the sale of Decapitation Insurance to all American, Korean, and British citizens and expatriates not willing to contribute to Wil Wheatons latest marathon masturbation session.
But rather than provide this service to the select few, the GNAA understands that your menial jobs are now being performed for one tenth of the cost by an equally skilled Indian, so we have provided a range of contracts scaled to suit your needs.
- For just $50 per month: Captured by Islamists? About to utterly fail it at life? Worry no more, for with our GNAA patented tracking device (inserted anally - replaced once a fortnight) you can call for assistance with a stealthy squeeze of the buttocks. In the unlikely event that this takes longer than anticipated our probe is programmed to gently stimulate your prostate to prevent unnecessary panic.
- For just $75 per month: Sadly our response teams are often distracted by widespread sodomy and the dulcet tones of Emerson Lake and Palmer, and as a result may not be able to save you from the junktouch of death. But fear not, for an extra 25 dollars a month we will throw in a made-to-measure GNAA sponsored cast-iron neckbrace, proven to stop a round from a Kalashnikov at 20 paces. Also, feel free to laugh majestically as their cries of "ALLAHU AKBAR!" are drowned out by the in-built speaker system, designed to pump out 140 decibels of "I am a Viking" by renowned pie-huffing Swedish guitar rapist Yngwie J Malmsteen.
- For Just $100 per month: Round-the-clock protection for you and your friends and family can be yours. Your potential executioners will quake in fear of our GNAA dogs of war, fresh from their victories over 4chan, efnet #politics, and gaiaonline, as they shield your prone jugular with their very lives and dongs. The service is second to none, and each contract is hand signed by GNAA president Timecop himself. The first 500 will also recieve a free jar of holy nigger seed, eagerly provided by GNAA GAMES chairman Zeikfried Tuvai.
But don't just take our word for it, GNAA sponsored clairvoyant Madame Jank DuTouche has contacted Paul Johnsons head from beyond the ethereal veil of death to bring you this recommendation:
"The moons axis over Jupiter brings it into allignment with the
constellation Orion and the Planet Anus. After inhaling several ounces of
crack, I followed this up with my tarot reading of 'The Jester', 'Death',
'Captain B Dick', '4 swords' and a 'double headed anal dildo'.
This told me but one thing, Paul Johnson endorses the Gay Nigger Association of Americas drive for a gay and Decapitation free universe."
Not to be outdone, Kim Sun-il's head released the following statement:
So what the fuck are you imbeciles waiting for, sign up with GNAA Insurance today, or be Nick Berg'd into an unpatriotic due grave!
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY?
Are you a NIGGER?
Are you a GAY NIGGER?
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America and the World! You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
- First, you have to obtain a copy of GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE and watch it. You can download the movie (~130mb) using BitTorrent.
- Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAA First Post on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website.
- Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.eu, and apply for membership.
If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is NiggerNET, and you can connect to irc.gnaa.eu as our official server. Follow this link if you are using an irc client such as mIRC.
If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.
| ______________________________________._a,____ | Press contact:
| _______a_._______a_______aj#0s_____aWY!400.___ | Gary Niger
| __ad#7!!*P____a.d#0a____#!-_#0i___.#!__W#0#___ | email@example.com
| _j#'_.00#,___4#dP_"#,__j#,__0#Wi___*00P!_"#L,_ | GNAA Corporate Headquarters
| _"#ga#9!01___"#01__40,_"4Lj#!_4#g_________"01_ | 143 Rolloffle Avenue
| ________"#,___*@`__-N#____`___-!^_____________ | Tarzana, California 91356
| _________#1__________?________________________ |
| _________j1___________________________________ | All other inquiries:
| ____a,___jk_GAY_NIGGER_ASSOCIATION_OF_AMERICA_ | Enid Al-Punjabi
| ____!4yaa#l___________________________________ | firstname.lastname@example.org
| ______-"!^____________________________________ | GNAA World Headquarters
` _______________________________________________' 160-0023 Japan Tokyo-to Shinjuku-ku Nishi-Shinjuku 3-20-2
Copyright (c) 2003-2004 Gay Nigger Association of America