source: web/trunk/www/pr/2005-01-22-gnaa-christian.txt @ 30

God Exiled From Information Superhighway<br />
<b>God Exiled From Information Superhighway</b><br />

<p>MISSOULA, MT (PAN-AMERICAN NEWS SERVICES) - In the ongoing conflict between
reason and primitive superstition, God was exiled from the Internet when a
combined team of GNAA and ANUS freedom fighters forced Christian scribes to
deny His existence by removing His name.</p>

<p>Starting early Thursday morning, insurgents in traditional Muslim garb
assaulted the Christian Internet meme-domination fortress <a
href="http://wikichristian.com">wikichristian.com</a>, interrupting a peaceful
day of infighting over the exact implications of indefinite religious
terminology. After thirty-six hours of combat, Christian forces withdrew,
leaving behind a battlefield of ruined scripts and banned IP addresses.</p>

<p>"With God as my witness, I am taking down the site so we may endure this
demonic assault," said Bruce Pederasdt, God's ordained champion in the "open
source" movement, which believes the soul of a homeless retarded crack addict
is equal to all others and thus if sycophantic enough, can become a "valued
contributor" to a vital project like porting LaTEX to the iPod.</p>

<p>Wearing tennis shoes, and armed only with AK-47s and Compaq laptops, the
rebel forces battled the highly mechanized Christian army until victory. "The
crusader-god has fallen before Allah (PBUH)," said GNAA commandant Penisbird,
sitting on a pink prayer matt before a captured statue of Crusaders burning
books and heretics. He fired a shot to the heavens, coating himself in the
sticky white substance that emerged from the rifle barrel.</p>

<p>Pederasdt refused to concede defeat, saying, "The God of Israel is a mighty
god, and he will repress these black, gay and probably Muslim infidels so his
Order may conquer the chaotic and sinful Internet. The Lord is my rod, and my
staff, ...and my rod..." Investigators from Child Protective Services were at
Pederasdt's Missoula compound to ascertain the status of the nubile young boy
who at this point walked naked from behind a large curtain. The site remains
down at the time of this writing. </p>

<p>"God told us to," GNAA-ANUS technology officer Cynical said simply. He
added: "Rip the sacred flesh - Sodomize the holy asshole - The king of Jews is
dead - and so are the lies - Vomit on the host of Heaven - Masturbate on the
throne of God." A passing herd of nuns passed out in shock, their habits
flipping upward to reveal large, black strap-ons.</p>

<p>CNN embedded reporter Phil MacOlon reported seeing columns of smoke rising
from the back entrance to the server farm where <a
href="http://wikichristian.com/">wikichristian.com</a> is hosted, but it was
determined to be GNAA spokestroll g0sp-hell lighting up a suspiciously pungent
cigarette. "God crashed like a Macintosh running Linux, in a rainbow of
failure," he said. "Install reality, problem solved."</p>

<p>The ongoing war between reason and superstition originated in a surprise
1996 attack by ANUS suicide mailbomers on the then-new Vatican web site,
knocking it out of commission until additional funding could be found.
Recently, the war has heated up with insurgents from GNAA seizing Internet Holy
Writ <a href="http://wikipedia.org">WikiPedia.org</a>, where the Jewish god was
linked to usury, niggardliness and unrelenting whining.</p>

<p>When news of the attack reached Washington, the United States immediately
declared war on Germany, claiming that as it was allied with both GNAA and
ANUS, it constituted an "axis of evil" which "threatens our freedom." At the
time of this writing, bombers were headed toward strategic targets in Dresden,
Germany, known as "the day care center of Europe" for its high population
of inflammable women and children.</p>

<br />
<br />
<b>About GNAA</b>:<br />
<b>GNAA</b> (<i>GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA</i>) is the first
organization which gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one
common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.<br />
<br />
Are you <a href="http://klerck.org/spin.gif"><b>GAY</b></a>?<br />
Are you a <a href="http://www.mugshots.org/sports/oj-simpson.jpg"><b>NIGGER</b></a>?<br />
Are you a <a href="http://www.gay-sex-access.com/gay-black-sex.jpg"><b>GAY NIGGER</b></a>?<br />
<br />
If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then <b>GNAA</b> (<i>GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA</i>) might be exactly what you've been looking for!<br />
Join <b>GNAA</b> (<i>GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA</i>) today, and enjoy
all the benefits of being a full-time <b>GNAA</b> member.<br />
<b>GNAA</b> (<i>GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA</i>) is the fastest-growing
GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of
America and the World! You, too, can be a part of <b>GNAA</b> if you join
today!<br />
<br />
Why not? It's quick and easy - <b>only 3 simple steps!</b><br />
<ul>
<li>First, you have to obtain a copy of <a href="http://us.imdb.com/Title?0274518"><i>GAYNIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE</i></a> and watch it. You can <a href="http://pepper.idge.net/gnaa/gnfos_dr.torrent">download the movie</a> (~130mb) using BitTorrent.</li>
<li>Second, you need to succeed in posting a <b>GNAA</b> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Post"><i>First Post</i></a> on <a href="http://slashdot.org">slashdot.org</a>, a popular "news for trolls" website.</li>
<li>Third, you need to join the official <b>GNAA</b> irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.</li>
</ul>
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to <b>sign up
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<br />
If you are having trouble locating <b>#GNAA</b>, the official <i>GAY NIGGER
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA</i> irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network.
The correct network is <b>NiggerNET</b>, and you can connect to
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<br />
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<tt>
.________________________________________________.<br />
| ______________________________________._a,____ | <b>Press contact:</b><br />
| _______a_._______a_______aj#0s_____aWY!400.___ | Gary Niger<br />
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` _______________________________________________' 160-0023 Japan Tokyo-to Shinjuku-ku Nishi-Shinjuku 3-20-2<br />
</tt>
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